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yā-waylatā laytanī lam ʾattakhidh fulānan khalīlan
Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend!
— Ali Quli Qarai
25Al-FurqānالفرقانVerse 28 of 77
The Criterion25. Al-Furqānالفرقان
Al Furqān
The Criterion
MeccanVerse 28 of 77
25Al-FurqānالفرقانVerse 28 of 77
The Criterion
Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as a friend!
— Ali Quli Qarai
Surah al-Furqan - Verses 27-29
27. “And on the day when the unjust one shall bite his hands, saying: ‘Oh! Would that I had taken a way alone with the Messenger’!”
28. “Oh woe is me! Would that I had not taken such a one for a friend!”
29. “He indeed led me astray from the Message after it had come to me, and the Satan fails to aid man.”
Occasion of Revelation
Commentators have narrated an occasion of revelation for these verses that we mention a summary of it: At the time of the Prophet (S), there were two friends named ‘Uqbah and ’Ubayy among polytheists. Whenever ‘Uqbah returned from a journey, he prepared some food and invited wealthy people of his tribe to a party. Meanwhile, he liked to go to the Prophet (S) and to be with him for a while, though he had not accepted Islam. One day he prepared some food as usual and invited his friends as well as the Prophet (S).
When food was ready to be served, the Prophet (S) told ‘Uqbah:
“I will not eat your food unless you testify to unity of Allah and my mission.”
‘Uqbah testified that there is no god besides Allah and testified that Muhammad is the Apostle of Allah. ’Ubayy heard this news. He said to his friend:
“You have deviated from your religion O’ ‘Uqbah!”
His friend said:
“No, by God I did not. But a man came to me who did not eat my food unless I testified to Allah’s unity and his mission. I was ashamed that he was about to leave my home without eating any food, so I testified.”
’Ubayy said:
“I will not be happy with you, unless you stand before him and insult him.” ‘Uqbah did this action and apostatized.
Finally he was killed with other pagans in the Battle of Badr. His friend ’Ubayy was also killed in the Battle of ‘Uhud.17 The above holy verses were sent down and explained the destiny of the man who had a deviated friend and he caused him to go astray. We have repeatedly said that though the occasions of revelation are particular and especial, they never limit the concept of holy verses and its generality includes all similar persons.
A Bad Friend Deviated Me!
The day of Resurrection has strange scenes, some of which are mentioned in the previous holy verses and in the concerned verses, here, another part is brought up, and that issue is the extraordinary regret of oppressors about their past. It first says:
The Arabic word /ya‘add/ is derived from the word /‘add/ that means grip with teeth. This is usually used about the persons who are upset because of regret and sorrow, as in a Persian proverb it is said that that person grips finger of regret with teeth. But in the Arabic language, instead of finger, hand is used, and perhaps it is more expressive, for man in such situations does not bite his finger, but he bites the back of his hand. In the Arabic language it is seen many times such as this verse that both hands are referred. In this way the intensity of regret and sorrow is expressed better.
This is perhaps for this matter that when such persons review their past and see that they themselves are responsible and guilty, they decide to revenge themselves so that they can somehow get calm and soothed. Verily that Day must be called ‘the Day of anguish’, as in the holy Qur’an the day of Resurrection is called by this name18, for wrongdoers see a perpetual life with the worst conditions before them, while they could change it to a happy and honorable life with some days of patience, struggling with appetitive soul, holy war and donation.
Even for doers of good deeds it is the day of regret. They will regret why they did not do more good deeds! Then, in the next verse this oppressor, who is completely regretful, says:
It is clear that the purpose of ‘such a one’ is the same person, whether an aberrant kinsman, or Satan or a deviated friend such as ’Ubayy, who deviated ‘Uqbah, mentioned in the occasion of revelation. In fact this verse and the previous verse set two positions of negation and verification against each other. In a verse it says:
(For all my misery is for leaving the Prophet (S) and choosing this deviated person as a friend.) Again in this verse it is continued:
If he were very far away from perpetual happiness and faith, he would not regret so much, but he had been near it, there was only one step for being ever after happy. But that stubborn, biased, dark-hearted friend returned him thirsty from the spring of life water and took him to the whirlpool of misery. The Qur’anic word /ǒikr/ has got an extensive meaning in this verse and it includes all divine verses that are in the heavenly books. Moreover, it includes any thing that makes man awaken, alert, and informed.
In the end of the verse the Qur’an says:
For Satan misleads man and leads him to dangerous places. Then leaving him wandered, Satan goes after his own job. We must note that the Arabic word /xaǒūl/ is an amplification form which means: 'The one who abundantly fails someone when most needed’, and the reality of /xiǒlan/ (desertion) is that someone hopes for another person’s help, but he deserts him just in the very sensitive moments. Whether this last sentence of the verse saying:
is said by Allah as a warning for all oppressors and the deviated persons, or it is the rest of the statement said by those who regret in the day of Resurrection, commentators have mentioned two commentaries, both of which are in line with the meaning of the verse, but being Allah’s words is more consistent.
The Role of Friend in Man’s Destiny
Undoubtedly the factors that form man’s personality are different including his will and decision, and most importantly his friend and companion, for man is desirably or undesirably impressionable. Most of his thoughts and moral attributes are formed through his friends. This fact has scientifically and experimentally been proved. From the view of Islam this impressionability is logical so much that we read in Islamic narrations that Solomon (as) has said:
“Do not judge someone, unless you see who are his friends, for man is known by his companions, friends, and fellows.” 19
Imam Ali (as) said:
“When you are doubtful about someone and you do not know his religion, find out who are his friends. If they are believers, he is a believer, too, and if they are not believers of the religion of Allah, he may be an unbeliever, too.” 20
Verily the role that a friend plays in happiness and misery of a person is sometimes more important than any other factors. Sometime a friend leads him to destruction and death and sometimes a friend leads him to the climax of success and prosperity. The concerned verses and their occasion of revelation show well that how possibly man can approach happiness, but a devil temptation by a friend takes him back to darkness and prepares him a deadly fate so that he bites both of his hands on the day of Resurrection and cries:
“Oh Woe is me!”
In the book Al-‘Ishrah (Roles of Association), there are many narrations about this matter. This shows how precise and exact Islam is in selecting a friend. We finish this discussion with narrating two traditions. Those who want to read more, please refer to Bihar-ul-’ Anwar, Vol. 74. Imam Muhammad Taqi, Al-Jawad (as) said:
“Avoid a bad companion, for he is like an unsheathed sword whose appearance is beautiful and whose effect is very ugly.” 21
The holy Prophet (S) said:
“There are four things that bring death to man’s heart: repetition of sin... and association with the dead.”
A person asked him:
“Who are the dead?”
The Prophet (S) said:
“The wealthy people who are indulging in luxury.” 22
Some Traditions About Friendship in Islam
1. Imam Ali (as) said:
“A man’s friend is the sign of his intellect and his speech is the sign of his virtue.” 23
2. The Prophet (S) said:
“Anyone who dies while he is a friend of the family of the Prophet (S) has died as a martyr.” 24
3. The Prophet (S) said:
“The happiest man is one who associates with respected and dignified people.” 25
4. Imam Sadiq (as) said:
“The most favoured brothers of mine are those who present me my defects (and to warn me of them). 26
5. Imam Ali (as) said:
“The best friend of yours is the one who makes you fond of the Hereafter and indifferent to the world and helps you in obeying Allah.” 27
6. The Prophet (S) said:
“Avoid associating with bad companion, for you are known by him.” 28
7. Imam Ali (as) said:
“Associating with bad people causes mistrust unto good people.” 29
8. Imam Sadiq (as) said:
“Whenever Imam Ali (as) climbed the pulpit, he said:
“It is deserved that a Muslim avoids friendship of three persons: the impudent dissolute person, imbecile, and liar.” 30
9. Imam Ali (as) said:
“Be kind towards your friend, though he disobeys you and have relationship with him, though he treats you harshly.” 31
10. The Prophet (S) was once asked about the best companion.
He said:
“The best one is the person whose meeting reminds Allah to you, and his words increases your knowledge, and his behaviour makes you remember the Hereafter.” 32
Islam has got many pieces of advice about friendship and selecting a friend. Islam encourages having friendship with some persons and prohibits friendship of some other persons, and this needs a special separate discussion. Some subtitles of the subject of ‘friend and friendship’ are as follows: the ways of knowing a friend, boundaries of friendship, continuity of friendship, termination of friendship, proper motivations of friendship, and rules of association with friends and rights of friend, that for each of them there are a lot of verses and narrations.
We have only mentioned some part of it. Also Imam Ali (as) said:
“Good friend is the best relative.” 33
There is a tradition that says test your friend with money, anger, wealth and journey. If he is successful in them, he is a good one. In poems there are also a great deal of references about friend and friendship and it is recommended to associate with good friends. Also association with bad friends is reproached. Bad companion is likened to a beautiful snake that has a very deadly poison. As a Persian poet says:
Footnotes