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wa-waṣṣaynā l-ʾinsāna bi-wālidayhi ḥamalathu ʾummuhū wahnan ʿalā wahnin wa-fiṣāluhū fī ʿāmayni ʾani shkur lī wa-li-wālidayka ʾilayya l-maṣīru
We have enjoined man concerning his parents: His mother carried him through weakness upon weakness, and his weaning takes two years. Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the return.
— Ali Quli Qarai
Surah Luqman – Verse 14
14. “And We did enjoin upon man concerning his parents, did his mother bear him with fainting upon fainting and his weaning takes two years, (saying:) ‘Be grateful to Me and to your parents: unto Me is the ultimate return (of all).”
The Arabic word /wahn/ means bodily weakness, and the word /tauhin/ means to weaken the personality. The circle of ‘kindness’ is wider than that of disbursement. The act of /’ihsan/ (kindness) envelops any kind of affection and favour, but /’infaq/ (disbursement) is usually used in financial aids. In the Qur’an, the term /’ihsan/ (kindness) is mentioned beside Monotheism. It says:
In the verse under discussion at first the kindness to parents has been recommended, then the Qur’an points to the course of mother’s pregnancy in order to awaken the moral conscience of man and that he should not forsake the events of the past. He must always remember that his mother bore him and fed him with her own milk. She dispensed with her sleep and food for the sake of his tranquillity in a manner that no one was ready to bear such troubles.
Since mother’s right is more probable to be wasted, or her right is greater than the father, Allah has recommended her in particular. Parents and their child have mutual rights. In the previous verse, the admonition of father to the child was referred to, while in this verse the kindness and gratitude of the child unto the parents is mentioned. It says:
Then it points to the extraordinary labours of the mother and says:
This subject has scientifically been proved, and experience has shown it, too, that mothers will faint during the course of pregnancy because they allocate nearly all their own milk and the marrow of their bone to the growth of their embryo, and they give her child the best materials of their own vitality out of all of them. For this reason, during their pregnancy, mothers will be in need of kinds of vitamins and if they are not provided there will be some distresses for them. This matter continues even in the suckling course, too, because milk comes from inside of mother’s body.
Then, the verse continues saying:
Pointing to this matter, in another place, the Qur’an says:
The purpose, of course, is a complete course of suckling, though it may sometimes be less than that. However, during these thirty three months (the pregnancy course and suckling course) mother performs the greatest self-sacrifice both from the spiritual and emotional points of view, and also from the point of body, and from the point of services to her child. It is interesting that at first the Qur’an recommends about both parents and at the time of stating the labours and services, it emphasizes on mother’s labours in order to attract the man’s attention to the donations and great right of mother.
Then it says:
You should be grateful to both the Creator and the main giver of blessings and the kind parents He has given to you, and you should be grateful to your parents, too, who are the mediate of this emanation and undertake the transition of Allah’s bounties to you. And how interesting and expressive is that the gratitude to the parents has been set and mentioned just beside the gratitude to Allah. And, at the end of the verse, with a tune of statement which is not far from threat, it says:
Yes, if we neglect here, all the rights, labours, and services will be dealt with there and will be exactly counted. We must fulfil the Divine account in respect to the gratitude of both His bounties and the bounty of the existence of parents and their pure and sincere affections. Some of the commentators here have pointed out that the Qur’an has repeatedly emphasized on observing the rights of parents, while recommendation due to children is rarely seen in the Qur’an (except the prohibition of killing children which was an evil and ugly exceptional tradition during the Age of Ignorance).
This is because of the fact that parents, as the result of their strong affections to their children, may rarely forget them, while there have frequently happened that children have forgotten their parents specially at the time of senescence and weakness. This is counted the most painful state for them and the worst ingratitude for the children.
A Few Traditions About Parents
1- Ibn-i-Mas‘ud said:
“I asked the Messenger of Allah (S) ‘Which one of deeds is the dearest one with Allah, Almighty and Glorious?’
He answered:
‘Prayer at its time.’
I said:
‘What is after it?’
He answered:
‘Kindness to the parents.’
I said:
‘What is after it?’
He answered:
‘Struggle in the way of Allah’.”
2- The Messenger of Allah (S) once said:
“Whoever obeys the command of Allah concerning the parents, two doors from paradise will be opened to him, and if he obeys Allah’s command about one of them one door will be opened.”
3- The Prophet of Allah (S) said:
“Every righteous child who looks at his parents kindly will be given the reward of an accepted complete Hajj for each glance.”
He was asked:
“If he looks even for one hundred times a day?”
He answered:
“Yes. Allah is greater and more purified.”