The explanation of these two narrations is that they are to be understood as recommendations rather than obligations. The reason we prohibit women from washing men if they directly touch their bodies is due to the requirement of modesty. However, if they only pour water over the body, there is no harm in doing so. As for a woman, it is permissible for men to wash those parts of her body that they were allowed to see during her lifetime, such as the face and hands, but nothing beyond that. This is supported by the narration of al-Mufaddal ibn ‘Umar, which has been previously mentioned.
Commentary #11